Real vs. Ideal

Reality isn’t always as we’d like it to be... especially in a city like New York. Ideally, we’d like to believe that we are safe. In reality we’re usually not. I’m not saying that we should be afraid to leave our homes, but we should be afraid to be out alone at 3am after drinking if we are women… at least if we are women under 6’ tall and 350 pounds. What happened to Imette St. Guillen is a tragedy. And although my friends may say I’m overprotective or that my maternal instinct is in overdrive (always has been), I would never leave them alone at a bar, late at night, after having been drinking, in this city or any other.

Ideally, women would be safe alone, safe dressing ultra-provocatively, safe getting drunk while with friends. But in reality, this is just not the case. I worry about the young girls I see on the subway, even in broad daylight, wearing short skirts and tops that cling to their breasts or expose their mid-drifts. They could all be very chaste girls for all I know. And they should be judged for their character, not their appearance (see “My Short Skirt” from THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES). However there are too many sexual predators in this world who see girls in revealing clothing as targets.

I have no idea how Ms. St. Guillen was dressed the night she was killed or how she was acting. She didn’t deserve to be attacked. But I hope that other women will be more careful out of respect for her memory…