Squeaky 5

I've been watching Hendrickson's (EXCELLENT) documentary "Manson." Squeaky first appears with short red hair and a purple vest and then shortly after with longer red hair and a shotgun and finally with a red crew cut. It’s amazing how lucid she seems, how passionate… WOW! With her short red hair, her legs crossed, her clear ruddy complexion, her innocent eyes she proclaims, "You have to be ready right here right now right here!" She reminds me of Sandy Duncan for crying out loud! I expect her to follow that with "Grey skies are gonna clear up: put on a happy face!" It’s scarily exhilarating for me to watch her… the way towards the end she cradles the snake like it’s a puppy and yet talks about how people should be like snakes, always ready to strike and kill. The way she talks about love I want to hug her: she giggles and smiles innocently, but then she’s holding a knife or a gun and fondling it with complete adoration and admiration, as if she’d like to make it part of her own body. I feel like I know her, and then she scares the crap out of me. I just don’t get the violence thing, maybe just because I know so little about it.
I’ve never held a gun.
I’ve heard it’s a thrill.
It’s a thrill I’m scared to have.
I remember my mom telling me once that she’d been an absolute ace at riflery at summer camp. It shocked me: the idea of my sweet, brilliant, skittish, unathletic, graceful, shy, meek, delicate, beautiful mother… holding a gun and shooting with excellent accuracy…