Natalie Portman Rap

Click the link above if you've been living under a rock and still haven't seen this: my favorite thing EVER on Saturday Night Live (which for those of you who know me is a BOLD statement- I've been a fan since I was 12)!!!!!!!! And next time you see me, feel free to ask for my dead-on impression of this; I LOVE DOING IT! ;D I swear, I wish I had an alarm clock that woke me up with this rap every morning- it puts me in SUCH a good mood.

p.s.- MSN will probably make you watch some dumb commercial first, but the rap is worth the wait... even if you've already seen it! Enjoy.

Lance Bass is out

Sure we all had our suspicions, but he felt the need to hide it, which is too bad. It's sad that in this day and age celebrities still have to worry that if they come out, it will hurt their careers.

Congrats to Lance. I wish him all the happiness in the world and hope that he is treated with kindness and acceptance from his family and friends (and the rest of the world)...

You Want Funny? I'll give ya funny.

A scene from “Bruce Almighty” that I recently saw, featuring Steve Carell who is the funniest thing about the movie. The outtakes of this scene are TWICE as funny, but I couldn’t get them on here, so if you like this, you’ll just have to get a hold of them yourself. ;) Hope this gives you a laugh and that you’re having a better day than I am! (*sigh*)

JARHEAD

Ever wonder what Operation Desert Storm was really like? This film will show you.

"A story: A man fires a rifle for many years; And he goes to war. And afterward he turns the rifle in at the armoury; And he believes he's finished with the rifle. But no matter what else he might do with his hands, love a woman, build a house, change his son's diaper; His hands still remember the rifle."

"Every war is different, every war is the same."

Boorah.

It's no wonder Jake & Peter became such good friends through this. And they're both fucking incredible in it. (See it.)

#1 reason I love Tom Waits (out of many =)

"Jersey Girl" by Tom Waits

“Got no time for the corner boys, down the street makin’ all that noise,
Don’t want no whores on eighth avenue, ‘cause tonight I’m gonna be with you.
‘Cause tonight I’m gonna take that ride, across the river to the Jersey side,
Take my baby to the carnival, and I’ll take you on all the rides
(Sing sha la la la la la sha la la la)

Down the shore everything’s alright, you with your baby on a Saturday night
Don’t you know that all my dreams come true when I’m walking down the street with you
(Sing sha la la la la la sha la la la)

You know she thrills me with all her charms, when I’m wrapped up in my baby’s arms
My little angel gives me everything, I know someday that she’ll wear my ring
So don’t bother me ‘cause I got no time, I’m on my way to see that girl of mine
NOTHIN' ELSE MATTERS IN THIS WHOLE WIDE WORLD WHEN YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH A JERSEY GIRL =)
(Sing sha la la la la la sha la la la)

And I call your name, I can’t sleep at night, sha la la la la la la…”

Confusing Confused

So I was listening to some Led Zeppelin this morning to get me going (on SUCH a Zep kick lately- I’d totally forgotten how many songs that I love are actually theirs!) and I noticed something interesting:

the song “Dazed and Confused” is now totally associated with the movie of the same title, which is totally associated with pot and hippie stoners in general. And yet, the song isn’t about drugs at all, it’s about heartbreak:

”been dazed and confused for so long it's not true.
wanted a woman, never bargained for you.
lots of people talking, few of them know,
soul of a woman was created below

you hurt and abuse, tellin' all of your lies.
run 'round sweet baby, lord, how they hypnotize.
sweet little baby I don't know where you been
gonna' love you baby, here I come again

everyday I work so hard, bringin' home my hard earned pay.
try to love you baby, but you push me away.
don't know where your going, all I know just where you been,
sweet little baby I want you again.

Oh yea, all right, all right

been dazed and confused for so long it's not true
one little woman never bargained for you
take it easy baby, let them say what they will
tongue’ll wag so much when I SENT you the bill

My heroes...

(in case you didn't already know...)

my boyfriend who is the best man I have ever known, and is always trying to be a better man

my mother for being a strong, smart woman of integrity, a terrific mother and a wonderful example of a HUMAN being

my father who is an incredible artist and scholar and unbelievably charitable and forgiving… and the best letter writer ever ;)

my grandmother, her sister Ruth, their mother Nina, and my uncle Jake for being fighters and for always giving me so much love

my sister-in-law, who came to NYC from Japan at a very young age, barely knowing a word of English, put herself through college, and now is an amazing mother to my nephew

my best friends G and S who are so beautiful and talented and have the remarkable ability to be there for people and help them, even though they didn't always have people there for them

my director, teacher, and FRIEND B who, through his sensitivity, helps others be sensitive, and who hears music in a way that no one else can, bringing it to life onstage in a way that is thrilling to those who perform it as well as those who see it

me beautiful friend P who has been treated unfairly by so many, and yet still has so much love, understanding, and patience for those around him

Drew Barrymore who went through so much at such a young age,









yet stayed true to herself and her search and always kept her positive outlook;













she is has such a beautiful heart and spirit
























Chita Rivera for her attitude and athleticism





















Ani DiFranco for her poetry and activism


















Pink for not being afraid to piss people off, especially with her latest album






















Charlize Theron for “Monster”




























Johnny Depp for his honesty and sensitivity





















Tegan and Sara for their art and example




and many more…

my puppy's paws smell like popcorn

and no, he hasn't been in contact with or ingested any popcorn! =)

Faded pictures...

My mom wants to “redo” my old room in the house she and my dad still live in, the house I grew up in. I don’t blame her; the wallpaper is almost 30 years old now and may just fall off the walls one of these days of its own accord. Plus, some of the decorations on the walls have been up since I was in high school (and I don’t even want to THINK ABOUT how long ago THAT was). So I started cleaning it out today and naturally, going through the remnants of my keepsakes, memories flooded me. Among the things I came across:

A T-shirt from a “Graffiti Party” that various friends had written on, telling the story of one of the first nights of my senior year in college

A collage of one-liners and flattering adjective surrounding a picture of me and a girl with whom I am no longer friends

Countless letters from my mom, friends, and other relatives

Even more letters from my dad (who is famous for his long, beautiful letters)



A pinwheel that was part of a friend’s Halloween costume. It was left (intentionally?) in my room after the festivities as a reminder of one of the most magical Halloweens I’ve ever had, also during my senior year in college… a night that made me feel like a freshman again: pure, pretty, and problem-free…

The funeral program from my dear friend’s death later that year

A coin from Chuck E Cheese where I was taken by friends to try to cheer me up after my friend’s death

A pebble from the shrine my friend’s mom constructed in her memory outside of their home

All the letters from friends and family after my nervous breakdown and short hospital stay that summer… few of which mentioned my nervous breakdown, which always puzzled me… if I wasn’t embarrassed to talk about it, why should they be?

An E.T. doll that I had received shortly after the movie was released (it was then and still is my favorite movie). Sadly, the doll did not stand the test of time quite as well as the movie, it’s leather skin eaten away and gross… My mom looked sad when I threw it away. “But it’s not the REAL E.T.,” I thought, “HE went home!”

Countless plays I started and abandoned, others by friends, others by playwrights I studied in school

And a loneliness… a sense of sadness… a sense of loss of time, of friends, of youth…

I know I’m not old, but I sure ain’t as young as I used to be…

Or as stupid.

That thought makes me laugh and suddenly the sadness lifts. What I have now I would not trade for those carefree days. What I learned from that dumb 18 year old girl (and 19, and 20, and so on,) has made me who I am today.

And today… I feel o.k.

I know who I am. Do you know who you are? (A letter.)

Dear You,

Deep down, I have always been a good person, at heart. As have you. But we’re both “drama queens” of a sort. We can both from time to time get so overwhelmed by our own emotions and the trials and tribulations of our own lives that we seem to be trying to eclipse those around us; it seems to be “all about” us. But we can also turn around and be so comforting, appreciative, and supportive of others; we can make someone feel like he/she is the center of our worlds and that no one could ever be as important or as wonderful. People have fallen in love with us for that very reason.

“What I am is what I am.
Are you what you are or what?”

We can both be bitches. And there are times when the best thing you can be is a bitch, no apologies, no regrets. There are moments when people need to be put in their place, knocked off their high horse, and we’re damn good at the job. We know how to throw down when it comes to letting people know they’re out of line, and we are fiercely loyal; when the ones we love are wronged, we rush to their aid and eviscerate the offenders with the speed and ferocity of a Great White.

“I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way.“

But careless… careless I try not to be. And I care when I hurt those I care about, and am devastated when I hurt those I LOVE. You don’t seem to care too much. Or if you do, you have a funny way of showing it. While I go out of my way to try and mend the wounds I cause, to truly understand where I went wrong and make things right, you seem to want a simple apology to suffice in wiping your slate clean, or worse, you want whatever trauma you are experiencing at home to excuse those actions of yours that cause others pain. That ain’t cool.

“both my parents taught me about good will
and i have done well by their names
just the kindness i've lavished on strangers
is more than i can explain
still there's many who've turned out their porch lights
just so i would think they were not home
and hid in the dark of their windows
till i'd passed and left them alone

i'm not trying to give my life meaning
by demeaning you
and i would like to state for the record
i did everything that i could do
i'm not saying that i'm a saint
i just don't want to live that way
no, i will never be a saint
but i will always say

squint your eyes and look closer
i'm not between you and your ambition
i am a poster girl with no poster
i am thirty-two flavors and then some
and i'm beyond your peripheral vision
so you might want to turn your head
cause someday you might find you're starving
and eating all of the words you said”

Four and a half years ago, the best man I know pointed out that I was an amazing human being, but that I was making mistakes. He told me to get real, stop hiding, and be strong. He helped me see that I was worthy, and because of his care, I became a better human being… and was able to then help him become better too. Before him, I would make mistakes that I knew would hurt others, so I would lie to cover them up. But then I realized how wrong this was and got to the root of why it kept happening. Now I simply don’t make those kinds of mistakes.

“and god help you if you are a phoenix
and you dare to rise up from the ash
a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
while you are just flying past.”

It’s scary to change. When you become a better person you take on a huge responsibility: to STAY a better person. I know that must be scary for you, that challenge. I know it would be easier to just shut out the people in your life that have hurt you or that you have hurt. I know it would take less work to visit a shrink for prescription refills only, and not really talk through your problems to break the cycle. I know you probably would like to just stay a spoiled brat (your words, not mine) for as long as you can.

I know I’m not perfect. Far from it. I have a short temper, I am stubborn as a mule, I hold grudges way too long, sometimes for really silly little things (I’m becoming more and more like my grandmother every day in that respect), and I’m one of the most impatient people I know. I need way more attention and positive reinforcement that I should. I can be very greedy and selfish and I’m (hands down!) the most emotional person I can think of, but that seems to help my acting so I’ll let that slide.

But careless… careless I’m not. And certainly not when it comes to hurting those I love.

Sincerely,
someone you love…
that you hurt.

I think this is one of the funniest freakin' guys on the planet right now:

h

(Quick shout out to any employees of the Morristown, NJ BK I may have accidentally shouted at back in my days of drivin' through! Hee hee. ;)

So a few months ago my boyfriend and I were watching Saturday Night Live, as we are prone to do if we get home from drinking by 1 am. We curled up on the couch with beers and our pup and listened as the host was announced.

“Who the hell is that?” I ask.
The boi shrugs.

Then we watch as this guy comes out on the famous stage, and instead of doing a three minute standard monologue plugging some film, he does about 12 minutes of some of the funniest stand-up I’ve ever seen. I mean, the guy had me laughing (out loud!) so hard my stomach actually hurt. That doesn’t happen to me that often. Then months later I hear all about him in the tabloids because he’s in a new movie with a certain blonde star that I abhor. There are rumors they are dating, which I REALLY hope isn’t true because I will lose soooo much respect for him, but if they were just banging, I can understand, since she is kinda hot. Anyway, once I knew his name, I was able to look him up on the ever popular youtube.com and watch about an hour of his other material. The clip above was my favorite, but there are lots of great ones- if you need a good laugh, look up: DANE COOK.

I'm T 'n' S-ing

I often carry my nifty Tegan and Sara tote (that I purchased at their AWESOME Webster Hall show last summer) around NYC. I am amazed that some people still ask me about it, knowing nothing of this KICK ASS band of twin sisters. If you are one of those who still don't know the beauty and the wonder that is T & S, check it out:

"Speak Slow"



"Living Room"



"Walking with a Ghost"

We Are Scientists at Irving Plaza

Another unfuckingbelievable show. Even better than Roseland, because W.A.S. were the headliners, so the tension was building throughout the entire sets of the two opening bands (neither of which I cared for). Props to Irving Plaza for the cool set up and groovy lighting design… and for not serving beer in cups like at Roseland. ;)

Keith sounded better than ever, Chris really gettin’ down and boogying—more animated than I’ve ever seen him—and Tapper was raging as always. And the crowd was LOVIN’ them! The whole pit was jumping up and down, mouthing all the lyrics, and even some moshing broke out! None of these kool kids were W.A.S. virgins, I am proud to report.

I am sooooooooooooo psyched my friends continue to do so well. Click on the title of this post to view their video for “It’s A Hit” that you may have seen around. It’s definitely my favorite of all their videos… although I’m biased because I am intimately acquainted with the guy who plays ‘O’Grady’ ;D